so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
