would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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