Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
