So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
