They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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