Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
