You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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