'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
