I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
