Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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