rhymes with "ouble enetration"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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