you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
