Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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