Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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