she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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