Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
