i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
