i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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