i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
