I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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