You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
