sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
