There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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