I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
