lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
