Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
