How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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