Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
