someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
