just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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