Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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