I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Boobs are out for the taking
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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