evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
