Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have post one night stand depression
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