Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
