What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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