I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
