Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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