i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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