She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
