Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
