So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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