I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
