what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
