Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i came on her dog
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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