You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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