I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
