Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
