WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
