We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
